Stop Growing Up: 10 Challenges You’ll Face as Your Children Get Older

"Tweens are like a box of chocolates. You never know which personality you are going to get" - unknown

It’s hard to see my kids growing up so fast! 

I only have to look at my two boys and I can still smell their new-born skin, hear their baby cries, and feel their tiny hands in mine…

I’m one of those Mums who miss my children so much as little ones - even though I love the ages they’re at now.

As parents, we go through so much with our kids and the nostalgia of all the times they were babies and toddlers can be overwhelming for me to say the least!

I’ve often found myself sobbing my heart out because a baby photo has come up on my social memory feed of chubby thighs and toothy grins :) 

There’s so many stages and milestones in their lives, and every year, as they get older, they just seem to need me less and less 🥲🥲

So I wanted to share 10 Challenges you'll face as your children get older, and I hope they’ll help you prepare for what is, or for what’s to come for you in the future.

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1. Their Attitudes Grow Too

One thing I’ve found with my boys getting older is that as well as their height growing, so too have their attitudes lol (especially my almost a teenager)…

They have an answer for EVERYTHING and with that answer for everything also comes a certain tone…

I’ve found that trying not to play up to it and keeping calm makes a huge difference because I can be a hothead myself, and let me tell you, if I’m trying to have the last word and so is my eldest, it's just a shouting showdown and nobody wins…

I’ve accepted that with getting older comes more of them having their own thoughts and minds, and that’s a good thing. 

Keeping the peace in our house means letting the boys have their say, not interrupting them, and listening fully.

2. Parenting Is More Emotional Than Physical 

One thing I’ve found is how much more emotional parenting is as my children have grown.

Although I’m in the “pre-teen” stage of parenting, and I know that there are tons of new challenges ahead in the teen years, it can be mentally draining when there’s so much more to think about and worry about. 

Whereas in the early years I was uncomfortable from childbirth, sleep-deprived and just trying to get through the day, now I’m worrying about my eldest going to secondary school by himself, friendships changing, and all the extra pressures he’s now enduring as he’s getting older. 

I’m an overthinker and worrier by nature, so being at this stage in parenting where I’m having to loosen the reigns and let him experience more independence is hard for me!

But, I’m getting there and  it is getting easier and I’m hoping that it will be much less emotional when my youngest starts secondary school lol 

3. They Hear, Understand, and Listen to Everything 

Gone are the days when you and your partner could have a conversation with little ears around, oblivious to the fact they didn’t understand what you were talking about.

My husband and I have to be so careful now we don’t talk about certain things when they’re around, because they understand everything. 

We have to be very mindful whenever we’re talking about anything and most conversations happen when we’re in bed (much to my husband's annoyance)...

4. How hard to go from “Mummy” to “Mum” 

I wasn’t sure whether to include this one as it seems like such a small thing, but for me, I love being called “Mummy” and now my boys are starting to call me Mum, it does hurt a little bit.

It’s another one of those obvious signs your kids are growing up, and its going to take a lot of getting used to. 

They’re at the age where they don’t want to be caught by their friends calling me Mummy, as they don’t want to be told they’re babyish and I know my eldest is struggling to call me Mum because he’s so used to Mummy… 

I’ve been Mummy for 12 years, so the transition is hard. 

5. They Teach Us Things 

In a world full of technology and ever-changing cultural trends, you’ll probably find that your kids are teaching you new things all the time. 

Children today are so quick to learn and adapt to new things all the time.

It’s the world they live in!

So, if you’re struggling with figuring out how to sort something out on your laptop or phone, I’m pretty sure they’ll probably be able to help you out…

6. What they Like and Dislike Constantly Changes 

This has got to be one that’s driven me a bit crazy!

One minute they like Broccoli, and then they don’t… Then they like reading and then they don’t…

I can’t keep up half the time.

You feel like you’re just getting a dinner recipe that everyone likes and then No, one of them decides they don’t like it anymore…

Arrrrggggghhhhhh 🤣🤣🤣

I now know that you just have to roll with it. There’s no pointing getting angry or making them feel bad about it, because it’s not going to change the fact that at that time - they don’t like it…

It’s part and parcel of them them growing up and discovering themselves. 

I tend to smile to myself now and have a little chuckle because I know that next week, they’re going to say they like Brocolli 🤦🏻‍♀️

7. Chaos Turns Into Quiet

When your kids are little, the house is carnage and you can’t get a moment’s peace.

It can all feel so overwhelming and manic.

But I can tell you now for a fact, as they get older, and they spend time out with their friends, or in their rooms doing their own thing - you will 100% miss all the noise…

The house can feel so quiet now my boys are pre-teens, and I’m not sure I like it all the time.

All I can say is this:

Enjoy the moments of having a hot cup of coffee that stays hot

Enjoy being able to sit down and rest for more than 5 minutes

And enjoy spending that extra 10 minutes in the shower you’ve craved for so long to wash your hair…

These are all the things you just can’t do when the kids are small and running around under your feet!

8. You have to Start Stepping Back 

This is one I’m finding super hard to do. 

It’s really difficult to take a step back and let them do things on their own, especially as you have to let them start making their own mistakes and figure stuff out for themselves - often the hard way…

I was a stay-at-home mum for over 10 years, so I’ve always been there for my boys for everything, helping them whenever they need me.

Now, they’re getting older, and I’m back working, I’m teaching them to be more independent, and less reliant on me - and it’s hard to let go…

Letting my eldest son go out independently has also been a struggle for me, as I kept thinking about all the worst things that could happen.

But there comes a point when you have to take a step back and give them the room to grow and be independent.

But not too independent at the moment lol - he does have a tracker on his phone, which he’s really good with keeping on, and I would highly recommend it for peace of mind.

We use the Life 360 app in our family and it is amazing, as I can always see where he’s heading and how much phone battery he has too. 

9. They’ll Want More and More Screen Time

The world our children are growing up in can be scary and with smartphones and iPads etc added in, it can be even scarier. 

With devices all around them, it can be hard to get them off their screens, and unfortunately, because they’re growing up in a world full of ever-changing technology - they don’t know any different. 

Whether they’re on social media if they’re older kids, or playing games with their friends, it can be hard to say “No” to them…

I have to say, I do get slightly annoyed when older generations say “When I was younger, we didn’t have these smartphones” and “We were out all the time and not stuck glued to a screen”.

I just want to say to them that if smartphones were around back then, they probably would have had one and be no different to the kids today.

It’s just the way it is now.

That being said, I do feel it’s important for kids to be out in the fresh air.

My boys go out on their bikes loads, we go down to the beach a lot, and my eldest is always out with his friends after school. 

He’s never in haha 😂

But they also go on their game consoles and iPads too, and I’m ok with that…

Especially as we’re approaching the colder, Autumnal months now, they aren’t going to be outside as much, because it starts to get dark as soon as they leave school. 

It can be hard to balance screen time when screens are such a big part of our lives nowadays.

As adults, we are not innocent when it comes to minimal screen time either, and a lot of the time, our kids are watching us on our phones constantly.

I try not to stress about it too much. 

If they listen to their dad and I when we’re talking to them, and come off them when we say (which 99% of the time they do) then playing Fortnight with their friends for a bit in the evening is ok with me…

Our families are different, and we must do what’s right for us, not what society tells us to do. 

10. Your Relationship with your Partner will be Different

Remember that time before kids came along and it was all romantic and you had all the time in the world together…

You’ve probably not experienced much of that over the years, when your kids were little and taking over your life lol…

But now they’re getting older and becoming more independent, you’re going to find that you have more time for each other.

Date nights can become more frequent and time for just the two of you is more available. 

The thing I’ve found though, is that my relationship with my husband has changed a fair bit!

Not for the bad, we’re just different, but it’s normal because having children together does change you in some way. 

How could being responsible for a small human life NOT change you… 

For us, we’re closer and we talk more about everything… 

We’re not so tired all the time, from endless sleepless nights, and can enjoy moments together we just didn’t have time for before!

Don’t get me wrong we’ve had some really tough times over the years, and sometimes it's felt like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, but we’ve managed to get through by communicating how we feel and telling each other what we need…

When you get to a point where the kids are that bit older, and you can spend more time with each other, it becomes a time to rediscover yourselves and your love. It’s the start of the next chapter in your lives together. 

I have to say one thing - I have been very, very lucky in the fact my boys talk to me and their Dad openly about anything and they also still love lots and lots of cuddles, but then again, they’re still fairly young and I’m sure that will change when they head into their teenage years and beyond… 

I find that when I’m feeling a bit sad or down about the fact my boys are growing up so fast, I think of something amazing we’ve done together or how proud they make me every day, and it soon brings such a massive smile to my face. 

Smiling makes me feel better and I like to think about all the lovely things we’ve experienced so far and also, all the things we still have to come. Just because they’re growing up, doesn’t mean they’re not going to be doing anything with us. 

Remember - parenting is a lifelong journey and even when they’re all grown up and have moved out of the house, they’ll still always be your babies and will always need you, just in different ways.